How To Have a Happy Christmas with Extended Family
The holiday season is a time for joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, when it comes to spending Christmas with extended family, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Differences in traditions, personalities, and expectations can turn what should be a joyful occasion into a source of stress. But with a bit of planning, communication, and a positive attitude, you can create a festive and harmonious atmosphere that everyone will enjoy. Here’s how to have a happy Christmas with your extended family.
1. Set Clear Expectations
Before the holiday season kicks off, it’s important to set clear expectations with your family. Open communication is key. Discuss any traditions or customs that are important to you and ask about theirs. Whether it’s what dishes to prepare, how to decorate, or the type of games to play, sharing your ideas early can prevent misunderstandings later on.
Tips:
- Organize a pre-Christmas meeting (in-person or virtual) where everyone can voice their expectations and preferences.
- Create a family calendar that outlines who will host, food contributions, events, and activities.
2. Create an Inclusive Atmosphere
With different branches of the family tree come diverse traditions and beliefs. Make an effort to create an inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels valued and respected. This could mean blending holiday traditions, accommodating different dietary restrictions, or acknowledging various religious practices.
Tips:
- Incorporate a “family traditions” segment where each family can share their customs. This not only spreads awareness but also enriches everyone’s experience.
- Respect dietary choices. If some family members are vegan or have allergies, try to prepare a variety of dishes that cater to different needs.
3. Plan Engaging Activities
Having a schedule filled with activities can keep everyone engaged and foster a festive spirit. Balancing planned events with free time is important, as it allows for spontaneous moments of connection.
Ideas for Activities:
- **Christmas Movie Marathon**: Choose a mix of classic and modern films that everyone can enjoy together.
- **Craft Corner**: Set up an area for kids (and adults!) to make Christmas cards or decorations.
- **Outdoor Games**: If weather permits, consider planning outdoor activities such as sledding, a family hike, or winter sports.
4. Create a Family Traditions Book
Bond over the memories that have shaped your family. Compile a ‘family traditions book’ that includes favorite recipes, stories from past Christmases, and photographs. This can be a fun project that brings everyone together, as each family shares their contributions.
Tips:
- Provide art supplies for decoration, so each family can personalize their pages.
- Leave blank pages for new memories, encouraging the family to add to the book every year.
5. Foster Open Communication
Throughout your time together, encourage an atmosphere of open communication. It’s natural for tensions to arise when you’re in close quarters, especially in a large family. Encourage everyone to express their feelings about activities, food, and traditions, while also practicing active listening.
Tips:
- Schedule “check-in” moments during the family gatherings where everyone can share what’s working for them and what isn’t.
- Use humor and light-heartedness as tools to diffuse tensions. Laughter has a way of bringing people together.
6. Be Flexible
One of the most valuable lessons you can learn during family gatherings is the importance of flexibility. Plans may not always unfold as expected, and that’s okay. Embrace the unexpected and find joy in the spontaneity that comes with family dynamics.
Tips:
- If a planned activity doesn’t go over well, be ready with an alternative to keep spirits high.
- Allow for downtime when family members can recharge, especially if there are kids involved who may get cranky.
7. Prioritize One-on-One Time
While group activities are essential, don’t underestimate the value of spending quality one-on-one time with your loved ones. Use this time to catch up and strengthen your relationships, whether it’s with your siblings, cousins, or even grandparents.
Tips:
- Arrange short outings or walks with different family members. This creates space for conversation and connection.
- Consider setting up a family bingo game where each square represents spending quality time with someone new.
8. Embrace the Spirit of Giving
Christmas is often about giving, so involve your family in charitable activities as a way to bond and spread holiday cheer. This can create a sense of purpose and unity.
Ideas to Give Back Together:
- Organize a joint family donation to a local charity or food bank.
- Volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen or wrap gifts for children in need.
9. Handle Conflicts Gracefully
No family gathering is without potential conflict. It’s important to navigate disagreements with grace and tact. If disputes arise, encourage a calm discussion to resolve issues rather than letting them fester.
Tips:
- Establish a “no politics” rule for the dinner table, which can help maintain a peaceful atmosphere.
- If a conflict arises, consider stepping away for a moment to cool down before addressing it.
10. Cherish the Moments
Finally, remember to cherish every moment, even the challenging ones. The holidays are a time to reflect on family bonds, create lasting memories, and enjoy the company of loved ones. Take lots of photographs, record stories, and appreciate the time spent together.
Tips:
- Designate a family photographer for the event or create a sharing app where everyone can upload their favorite moments.
- End the festivities with a gratitude circle, where each family member shares something they appreciated about the holiday and each other.
Paul Lucas is a dedicated marriage, couples, and relationship counsellor who operates his practice in the friendly community of Burlington, Ontario. Throughout his years of experience, he has had the opportunity to work with hundreds of couples, providing them with valuable support as they navigate various challenges in their relationships. Many of these issues include difficulties in communication, setting healthy boundaries, and dealing with the painful aftermath of infidelity.
In addition to these common concerns, Paul understands that the holiday season can bring its own set of challenges, especially when it comes to interactions with extended family and in-laws. These moments, while often joyful, can also lead to increased stress and tension among couples. To help couples manage these pressures effectively, he encourages them to carve out a specific time during this hectic season for a meaningful discussion with a counsellor.
Spending just one hour engaged in this kind of productive conversation can prove to be incredibly beneficial. It allows partners to identify potential issues they might face together and to develop a proactive plan to address them before any serious conflicts arise. This approach helps couples build a stronger foundation for their relationship, enabling them to face the challenges of the holiday season and beyond with greater confidence and understanding.