5 Tips to Communicating With Your Spouse
Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real, focuses on promoting relational health and understanding within partnerships. Here are five communication tips for couples from an RLT perspective:
Embrace Vulnerability: It's essential to create an environment where both partners feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings. Embrace vulnerability by expressing your emotions openly, which fosters intimacy and trust. This means being honest about fears, desires, and grievances without fear of judgment.
Practice Active Listening: Effective communication involves more than just speaking; it requires listening. Engage in active listening by giving your partner your full attention, reflecting back what you hear, and clarifying any uncertainties. This shows that you value their perspective and are invested in understanding their experience.
Set Boundaries and Use “I” Statements: When discussing sensitive issues, use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming or criticizing your partner. For example, say “I feel neglected when we don’t spend time together” instead of “You never make time for me.” This approach promotes ownership of your feelings and minimizes defensiveness.
Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: Shift your mindset from problem-focused communication to solution-oriented discussions. Instead of dwelling on what's wrong, explore what can be done to improve the situation together. Collaborating on solutions strengthens your partnership and encourages a sense of teamwork.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Make it a habit to have regular check-ins about your relationship. Set aside time to discuss what’s going well and what could be improved. This ongoing dialogue fosters communication and helps address issues before they escalate, reinforcing your commitment to each other.
By incorporating these tips into your communication practices, you can cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling relationship through a Relational Life Therapy lens.