What Is Your Attachment Style?

Your attachment style shapes your relationships. These patterns have emerged from the emotional bonds you had to caregivers when you were young. Here are the 4 attachment styles:

  1. Secure Attachment Style:

    • People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and independence.

    • They trust their partners and believe they are worthy of love and care.

    • In relationships, they seek closeness without fear of abandonment.

    • Secure individuals have a healthy balance between autonomy and connection.

  2. Ambivalent Attachment Style:

    • Ambivalent individuals crave closeness but fear rejection.

    • They worry about their partner’s feelings and often feel insecure.

    • These individuals may become anxious when their partner is distant or inconsistent.

    • Their emotions fluctuate between intense love and anxiety.

  3. Avoidant Attachment Style:

    • Avoidant people value independence and self-sufficiency.

    • They may avoid emotional vulnerability and intimacy.

    • When faced with conflict, they tend to withdraw or become distant.

    • Fear of engulfment drives their behavior.

  4. Disorganized Attachment Style:

    • Disorganized individuals experience conflicting emotions.

    • They may want closeness but fear it simultaneously.

    • Childhood trauma or inconsistent caregiving often leads to this style.

    • Their relationships can be chaotic and unpredictable.

Paul Lucas is a relationship and marriage counsellor with an office in Burlington, Ontario. He meets with clients in person and virtually across Ontario. Paul helps couples navigate difficult relationships, teaching them about their attachment styles and their wounded child. He promotes transparent and open communication, recognizing the wins and strengths in ones marriage and how to help couples through disharmony back to harmony.

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