6 Key Things To Consider Before Starting Couples Counselling

So you’ve been thinking about couples therapy, right? Well, here are 6 really important things to think about and do before you embark on this journey of couples counselling.

1. Go In With an Open Mind:

   • Challenge any misconceptions or stigmas you might have about therapy. Remember that counseling is about growth, learning, and self-awareness. It’s a gift for both you and your partner. And you don’t always have to agree with the therapists suggestions or ideas. But keeping an open mind may help you and your partner break from the “dance” that you guys are stuck in.

2. Don’t Assume You Need to Be at Rock-Bottom:

   • Couples often wait until things feel completely hopeless before seeking help. However, therapy can be beneficial at any point in your relationship. Reach out if you’re struggling to support each other during a transitional period or if you want to improve how you handle conflict. Many couples start counselling as way to fine tune things.

3. Discuss Your Goals Together:

   • This is crucial! Talk with your partner about what you hope to achieve through counseling. Ask each other “if therapy was a huge success, our relationship would look like….”

4. Reflect on Individual and Relationship Dynamics:

   • Take time to think about your own feelings, behaviors, and communication patterns. What kind of behaviors do you think you bring to the marriage that has a positive impact? How about a negative impact?

5. Search for the Right Couples Therapist:

   • Look for a therapist who specializes in couples counseling and has experience working with your specific concerns. This is really important! Do your research. Don’t just choose one that is closest to you or the cheapest. If you had an issue with your heart, would you see a general practitioner or would you choose a heart specialist? A marriage and couples counsellor would likely have more training, education and experience than a generalist. It is also important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with.

6. Provide Your Therapist with Necessary Information:

   • Be open and honest about your relationship history, challenges, and goals. The more transparent you are, the easier it will be for the therapist to know your goals and help you achieve them. Be ready and open to discuss hurtful past experiences. Afterall, it is part of your story.

     Paul Lucas is a couples and marriage counsellor with a physical office in Burlington. He sees couples across the GTA and GTHA as well as virtually from all corners of Ontario. He uses RLT and Gottman techniques that help couples make drastic changes to their relationship. Relationship counselling, marriage counselling and couples counselling with a direct, no-nonsense approach that avoids the typical therapy lingo.

     If you are ready for help in your relationship, reach out to Paul Lucas, currently accepting new couples for both in-person and virtual sessions.