Stop Gaslighting Yourself!
When we talk about gaslighting, we often think about how our partner is gaslighting us. Or maybe your partner is blaming you for gaslighting them! Have you ever considered whether or not you gaslight yourself?
Here are some signs that you may be doing just that!
You believe you are too sensitive - so you feel ashamed and you try to learn ways to suppress your feelings.
You constantly “should” yourself - dismissing what you actually feel, and instead saying things like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I should just get over it”
You invalidate your feelings - you probably yell at your husband to start validating your feelings, right? But do you validate your own? Saying things like “others are worse off than me” or “it’s not a big deal” are common ways we gaslight ourselves.
You make excuses for someone’s bad behavior - instead of acknowledging what they did was bad, you blame yourself or make excuses for them.
Read the above again. If you are doing them, look hard at what you are telling yourself. You are saying that how you feel doesn’t matter and not real, that you are to blame for how you feel and that pretty much you don’t actually like yourself.
In my counselling room I come across many people who are so dismissive… of themselves. Learning how to accept your feelings, acknowledging them and validating yourself frees the spirit within you.